First Sermon, Lent - Faith Journey

Robert asked me some time ago if I would tell my faith journey during Lent, originally I said no but in a moment of weakness over the last couple of weeks I agreed. So Here I am standing here in front of you all.
Not all journeys are very exciting and mine isn't I don't suppose that much different from most peoples. I'm sure we have at some point shared the same feelings, doubt, forgiveness. I have not had a religious experience in the sense of visions and burning bushes but some where along my path God has spoken to me and continues to speak to me in a quiet unsuspecting way.
I did not come from a religious family; I did not attend church every week. I was baptised here at All Saints some years ago.
My first recollection of church was attending Sunday School when I was very young. The church was on the opposite side of the road from where I used to live and all I remember going for is the sweets :o)
But when did my faith journey begin I'm not to sure?
I try delve deep into my memory and I can recall certain things that turned me away from God but I can't really remember when or how I began to believe in God. I must have believed though because how can you reject God if you don't believe? I rejected God for a considerable part of my life.
I'm going to go back to when I started secondary school - I was given a Gideon Bible (maybe this was when I first met God?)
I was at a very good school, Stretford Grammar and I enjoyed the first couple of years. My favourite lesson was Religious Education - I actually came top of my class in this subject.
I enjoyed learning about this amazing man called Jesus doing amazing things. (maybe this was when I first met God?)
I went to church with scouts every month - I was in Quest, down the road at the time. I enjoyed attending and joining in with the activities, doing my badges.
As I said the first couple of years were good and then things went a bit pear shaped, I was 13 (1978) I got in trouble with the police - not once but twice, school work deteriorated, I hated going to school, life didn't feel very good at this time. I felt I had failed everyone, my family, my friends lots of people, I failed myself. I remember some very scary moments - maybe I could be taken away, you never know with police and courts. You feel very unsupported and agree to all sorts of things. Moments I didn't cope with very well and have stuck with me ever since.
I believed that God didn't love me, how could he, why would he for these things I had done previously. I didn't even think about being forgiven at this stage or want to be forgiven.
I can see this with the story of the young Samaritan women by the well in today's gospel, "How is it that you a Jew, ask a drink of me, a woman of Samaria? Samaritans were the lowest of society according to the Jews and this is how I felt.
Over the following years I had a lot to do, working, setting up a home with Jackie, the births of Luke Rebecca and Bethany, raising them, and all these events make me who I am. These were busy times and I did not have much time for God, an easy excuse not to deal with anything. I'm sure he was around though and it was up to me whether I listened or not and for the most part I did not. If God was testing me at this time I failed at most things.
I did Sometimes when I did go to church I felt comfortable and at ease and i would be ok for a while and then the doubts came back and I left again. I did enjoy the comfort of a church but for me it wasn't enough, I was riddled with guilt.
Sometimes I did feel that God loved me then just as quick that feeling left and guilt returned. I felt I was a bad person. To better myself I volunteered a scout leader which lasted for almost 20 years.
I enjoyed scouting and it did provide a level of comfort but was it what God wanted me to do? That and other questions constantly in my mind never getting answers or maybe I never got the answer I thought I wanted..
I was very confused. I was listening to the voices, whose voice? I know now it was not always Gods voice. These thoughts that say I was bad or God doesn't want me, I thought it best to ignore them - that was the easy option. I didn't have to face up to anything, ignore them and they will go away.
1991 My gran died, this was really the first death I had known that really affected me personally, my gran was very close to me, I remember that she prayed (maybe this was when I first met God?), I remember her rosary that she used very well and I have had one for a good few years now. I wouldn't be without it. My grans death was very sad, she died of cancer. Why does God make people suffer like that? More questions for God. I have known other people to die and death is very sad but to now know that life isn't wasted and now I live for the promise of eternal life.
.
One of the questions that my Grans death brought to mind was " Why would God let me into heaven when I died?" I know my gran would go to heaven.
Well I wasn't going to heaven or at least God had an excuse not to let me in and I knew I had to make God change his mind.
I believed some of me was doing what God wanted but there was a proportion of me that wasn't. I wanted to change this bit. I needed to be a whole person
That was my life before and it was about to change.
It was a pleasant Thursday in February 2005 and this is the beginning of my new life. I remember I had been in some intensive deep conversations with God prior to this particular day. Jackie can vouch for the sleepless nights tossing and turning debating my life with God.
When I woke up I had a wonderful feeling - I knew that God did love me no matter what I had done or how I had lived my life and that I was forgiven, I had a nice warm fuzzy feeling.
I believed His son Jesus had died so that I could be saved. Now I think that is pretty awesome. I mean would you let your son or daughter die to save someone else? It was a very strange feeling indeed it was like everything had been placed in order like when you actually finish that jigsaw. I knew I had to change, I had to listen.
It was like everything came clear to me that morning and I knew I had to do something about it. I needed to answer God and tell him I wanted to change my life and I wanted to let everyone know.
I had a shower, got dressed and got in the car. Drove around the corner and stopped. Sitting in the car I called Jackie at work and told her I was sat outside the rectory and was about to go and asked to be confirmed - OK She said, it's took you this long. I knocked on the door, a young(ish) man opened the door, are you the vicar? and I asked to be confirmed now, he looked at me, kept me on the step while I strarted to tell him, then Robert invited me in to the rectory and after 2/3 hours of chatting I left.
I was back in the church, it was different this time, after all these years it now felt right. As the Samaritan women didn't understand all she had to do was ask, ask I did and received living water and now I have tasted this water I am more thirsty than ever.
There were no confirmation classes for adults, there wasn't much time before the next service for confirmation, oh dear everything was falling apart again but God must have been watching and decided I would do my confirmation class with the children and I would be confirmed at the next service in Manchester cathedral. Luke was also confirmed at the same time and it was a very proud day for us both.
On my confirmation day I left my old life and I am now feel guided by the Holy Spirit and I am More aware God is now at work in my life and with me on this journey.
I know some people that have made this profession of faith in Jesus but unfortunately their lifestyle remains self centered and Godless as before, I want to change and I know God doesn't want me to return to my old life.
It's not easy I'm sure you will agree. I can understand some people failing, I wish somebody told me that to live for God instead of myself is a change of seismic proportion, it isn't easy at all , everyday is a challenge but a challenge I enjoy trying to achieve.
I look at my life now my concerns have changed and continue to change, I am more aware of the surrounding world, I am more concerned for the people, family, friends, people I don't even know. I try to love more, I try not to judge straight away, I try to understand others needs and I have a church and a community of extended friends and family.
My journey has not finished it has just started on a new path, it's exciting, I have no idea where I am going or what will happen. It is my faith and trust in God that sees me through. My initial asking of God has lead to me grow spiritually and able to worship in spirit and truth.
I have an analogy for you, I see my journey like the life cycle of a caterpillar, it may work for you.
The caterpillar through its journey sheds it skin, eats and eats more then sheds it skins again and then one day, the caterpillar has no idea why or when but it forms a chrysalis and after a short period of time hatches from the chrysalis into a magnificent butterfly.
Can you see each new experience of God I receive and change another layer of me is shed, then I thirst and hunger for more and shed another layer, throughout my life I will shed more layers eventually revealing a a person that God wants me to be not what I want to be.
Hopefully you can see the similarities, it works for me.
As you talk to God and ask God , the closer you become the more receptive to Gods voice you will be and the more you will receive.
God has a plan for me and I see the doors he opens for me that makes things happen, not always what I expect. I feel I am a happier/better person because God is in my life, I still have a long way to go, I still fail but when I do fail I ask God to help me so that I can put it right for next time. I know one day I will look back at my journey again and see what a wonderful changes have happened.
I hope I have inspired someone else here to tell others there journey, on a recent evangelist course I attended they said the best way to bring people to God is to tell your story so over lent take some time to sit down and write your journey out, you will find events may not have happened quite as you thought and there will be some other significant events that you forgot about - try it.
It is the best story to tell, they are our stories.
Amen.

Trip to Germany - Mainz

The view from my hotel window, you can see The Dom in the distance.

St. Martin Cathedral (in German Mainzer Dom, sometimes Der Hohe Dom zu Mainz)

Mainz Cathedral is predominantly Romanesque in style, but later exterior additions over many centuries have resulted in the appearance of various architectural influences seen today. It comprises three naves and stands under the patronage of Saint Martin of Tours. The eastern quire is dedicated to Saint Stephen.
The interior of the cathedral houses tombs and funerary monuments of former powerful Electoral-prince-archbishops, or Kurfürst-Erzbischöfe, of the diocese and contains religious works of art spanning a millennium. The cathedral also has a central courtyard and statues of St. Boniface and The Madonna on its grounds.



The Dom Well

Hello

It's taken some time but I have finally got around to sorting out my blog, welcome.

Here is a picture of Luke, Rebecca and Bethany, don't they look angelic :o)

The original blog is being moved so all sections are expanding.

You'll find all sorts of things in this blog, interests, family events and thoughts to name a few.

I hope you enjoy and don't forget if you visit, leave a comment so I know y9ou have been.